


Best Friends Do Keep Secrets

by HunterMay18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Burning, Cutting, M/M, Rules, fake girlfriend, slight liam and andy, slight zayn and niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 04:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterMay18/pseuds/HunterMay18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pairing: Louis and Harry</p>
<p>Prompt: Louis cuts. Harry burns. But neither of them knows even though they are best friends. Harry is famous and Louis is not. Modest gets Harry a girlfriend to cover up the obvious fact that he is in love with Louis. Louis can’t handle it and cutting isn’t enough for him so he wants to jump off a building and that’s when Harry finds him and tells him everything. Does he jump or stay with Harry?</p>
<p>Length: I don’t care.</p>
<p>Warnings: Self harm and suicidal thoughts.</p>
<p>Rating: R due to the explicit self harming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Friends Do Keep Secrets

****

**_Harry POV_ **

Hello there, I’m Harry Styles. I’m known as the very famous singer that has sold many hits to all the ladies. But, the thing is those girls shouldn’t even try, I will never be attracted to them. You want to know why? It is because of this.

I, Harry Styles am in love with my best friend, Louis Tomlinson.

I’ve known him ever since we were around 5 years old and that was 14 years ago. I fell in love with him the first day I set my green eyes on his striking blue ones. It was like they drew me in and I accepted them.

I still remember the first day that we met. I was sort of fate type thing.

_“Mummy, can I go on the jungle gym?”_

_“Yes baby, just be careful,” I thanked her and I ran over to climb up on the stairs to reach the monkey bars. I saw a little boy who was looking up at them and looking down to the ground. I wonder if he was afraid of the height._

_“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked softly, showing the caring tone of my voice. The boy looked to me with wide eyes._

_“Too high,” Was all that he said and looked at his feet._

_“Maybe if I go first and show you that it’s not too high you will try?” The boy looked up and nodded. I looked directly into those innocent blues he had as eyes. There was something about the way that his eyes spoke to me and I couldn’t look away. Well, until he waved a hand in front of my face and then we both blushed._

_I moved in front of the boy and I put my arms up to the bars. I pulled with all of my strength and I was soon dangling over the ground on the bars. I looked back to the boy whose eyes were locked on to what I was doing._

_I swung my legs back and as soon as I was at arm’s reach of the next bar, I grabbed onto it. I continued this until I got the end. I took my hands from the bars and was on the platform across from the blue eyed boy._

_“Are you ready?” The boy shook his head and starts to back off, “Maybe I could stand under you and if you fall, you’ll just land on me instead of the ground.” The boy then just nods his head slowly._

_I climb down from the platform and walked over to look up to him, “Now, just do as I did and you’ll do fine!” I shouted and he didn’t say anything. He puts his arms on the bars and I just do as I do. With a little bit of encouragement he made it to the other side._

_I climb to the platform, “You did it!”_

_“Thank you…” The first time I heard his voice it was very high pitched for a boy but it didn’t matter. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was asking me something._

_“Ohh, I’m Harry and you’re?”_

_“Louis, but you can call me Lou.”_

Ever since that day both of their lives changed in many ways than one. Louis got over his fear of heights and I found a friend that didn’t pick on me. We literally did everything together and always told each other everything, well except for a few things.

One being the fact that I am in love with him and don’t have the guts to tell him. And another is that I burn my skin. And on top of that, Louis doesn’t know what I do and I will never want him to know. I don’t know how the whole burning started but I knew cutting myself wouldn’t work and I tried burning. The way it felt on my skin was euphoria.

The way it felt on my skin was nothing a cut could ever do.  At first I just started out with a lighter directly to my skin but it never gave me the relief that I ever wanted. I wanted quick relief and the lighter was just too quick. I wanted something different so I went to using pieces of metal. I would take the metal and put it over a blow torch and I would heat it up as much as possible. I needed this and I wanted to relieve all the pain that I have endured for majority of my life. So then I thought of actually doing it more than once. My face never winced or anything and this feeling was much better than anything that I could imagine.

The reasoning behind the burning wasn’t something out of a regular fanfiction about myself, alright maybe it was. And by the way I do read them and some of them pin me as a dick, anyways. I was falling hard for my best friend and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I thought once I became who I was the bullying would stop but always being in the public eye it never ever did stop. It became worse. I became the target for the gay slurs that I really didn’t need to be told. I knew them all at this point and I wanted it to stop, I really did but I just got worse.

I would go home to get on my computer to see what else was in the news and all I saw was just hate, hate and more hate.

_Harry Styles is a fucking faggot and he needs to leave the earth._

And that was a nicer comment, everything else was just worse. But, there was always that one comment that made me smile. It was posted every time by this blogger called,  _IntotheBlue_. No one knew who this person was and I wanted to desperately know, all that was known was he was a boy. His comment read:  _Harry Styles is a much better person than any of you will be. He shows the good in everything that he does and if you can’t see it then go and get your eyes check. I love this guy and you should too._

No matter what amount of hate I get it will get he’s always there to make me smile. I just want to know who he is, is that too much to ask?

 

**_Louis POV_ **

Well, it may seem that you just heard from a lovely friend of mine, Harry Styles and you heard part of his story. Now it’s my turn and let’s hopes this turns out better than expected. I don’t know what he said to you and I may never want to know because it would give me too much pain.

Anyways, here is what I have to tell you. Let’s start off with this little saying that I need to tell someone, and hopefully you’ll listen.

For starters, there is something that I wanted to tell for the longest time,

I, Louis Tomlinson am in love with my best friend Harry Styles. It hurts so much that sometimes I can’t bear it and I lose it. It got so bad that I even resulted to cutting every part of my body that I could get a hold of, I just wanted the release and I tried so many other things that never helped me.

I haven’t told anyone about what I do, I especially never told Harry. If I ever told him it would just break his heart and it would hate to see him break in front of me.

Whenever I cut I feel this sort of release of all of the pain that I endured while in high school. I wasn’t always with Harry since we went to different schools. We lived close enough to hang out almost every day but far enough to go to different schools. We both endured the same bullying since we both came out as gay to each other when we were thirteen years old.

_“Harry, I need to talk to you. It’s really important.”_

_“Sure, I need to talk to you as well. You can go first,” I didn’t look up from twiddling my thumbs in my lap. I really wanted to tell him but I didn’t want him to leave me because of this._

_“I don’t know how to say this and I don’t want to lose you.” A tear was falling down my face and he kneeled down in front of me and wiped away the tear. He looked up into my eyes._

_“Louis, it can’t be that bad. Just tell me what’s wrong?”_

_“I’m gay…” My heart starts to speed up waiting for Harry to say something._

_“Hey, Lou don’t cry…the thing is that I am gay too.” My head snaps up and I smiled. I guess I don’t have to worry about losing my best friend yet._

Well, that was true I didn’t ever lose my best friend at that point. But, when he became famous I barely even see him anymore. Apparently his management doesn’t like the fact that he is gay and they don’t want him to act on it.

Well news flash people he’s not a fucking virgin. And we sort of lost our virginity to each other. It was a drunken night and we ended up fucking each other until the early hour of the morning. We woke up not mad or anything, but sort of relieved that we ended up with each other instead of some stranger we didn’t know. But, we couldn’t date because of his stupid management. We want to so badly, but his management are a bunch big dicks.

Harry wants to drop his management so badly but he can’t until the contract is over and he still has a few more months and he’s out.

I just can’t wait until the day I get to be with him. If that doesn’t happen soon I may just have to die because my life wouldn’t matter if it didn’t involve Harry.

 

**_Harry POV_ **

I don’t even understand why my management even tries anymore. I’m fucking gay so of course I will check out a guy at every chance that I get. It’s not a fucking problem, I can’t help it. It’s just who I am, I can’t change it.

I was summoned to go to the office for my management to talk about some upcoming tour shit. I didn’t want to be up at this hour, it’s too fucking early for this shit. I just want to go back into my bed and dream endlessly of Louis. Is that too much to ask for?

I reached the room and I walked in to be met with my management team and some random girl that was really skinny.

“Good Morning Harry, how are you?”

“Tired, so can we just get this over with,” I spoke as I plopped down onto one of the chairs.

“Very well then, Harry I would like you to meet your new girlfriend, Emma. You will spend time with her and show that you’re in love with her and not that child, Louis.”

“Louis is not a child and I’m fucking gay if you didn’t recall.”

“Yes, and this is the reason why we got you this girlfriend. People are talking and I don’t like it when people talk especially when it’s about you being gay.”

“I’m gay that’s the reason.”

“Yeah but under our contract you are not allowed to be.”

“Really, this is what you’re pulling. What is it next I won’t be allowed to use the bathroom without permission?  I can’t change who I am and neither can you; fucking asshole.” I got up and stormed off out of the building. I wanted to go to the only person that would understand me and help me with what was happening.

I don’t need a girlfriend; I’m perfectly fine with being the gay man that I was born to be. I got to where Louis lives in record time since I was fuming madly. I needed some way to release my energy. I reached his house and went right into it. He doesn’t even care if I just show up unannounced and we’ve known each other for so long and we do this to each other all of the time.

I got into the living room to see him sprawled out on the couch watching some film. He looks up and I keep walking toward him and I just collapse into his outstretched arms since tears were flowing freely down my face.

“Harry, what is it this time?”

“They want me to date this girl; they said I can’t be gay.”

 

**_Louis POV_ **

Huh? Can’t be gay, really? What’s next he can’t use the bathroom without permission? And I was going to say something to Harry that I was in love with him and now I can’t. This fucking sucks. I need to…I can’t anymore.

After Harry leaves tonight, I’m going to take a walk and never come back. If I can’t be with Harry then I guess I can’t live.

He turns his head to look at my eyes, “Louis, you know that I’ve known you for so long. But, I need to tell you this. I love you.” He moves his head and presses his lips to mine. We move out lips together as if they fit like two puzzle pieces. He pokes out his tongue and asks for entrance and I opened my mouth. He slips in his tongue and we move our tongues around each other and don’t try to dominate the kiss.

I break away the kiss, “Let’s try this, let’s try to be a secret. Maybe being with you will keep me from going insane from dating a twig.” I peck his lips and he cuddles his head into my neck. I really hope I can get through this or I might just do what I’ve wanted to do for the past couple of months.

_A few weeks later…_

This fucking sucks.

I can’t stand people.

I fucking don’t even want to be around Harry at this minute. He was supposed to meet up with me today but that fucking bitch of a management had to decide that him and that fucking twig was going out today. Like the fuck.

I just want it all to end; I need it all to end.

I was sitting on my bathroom floor and I was fiddling with my razor. I wasn’t really in the mood to using this today but this has been bottling up and I need something. I need to do something.

I put my wrist and I look at the old and new scars I have on my wrist. I bring down the blade and I brace myself.

_Drag…_

I’m never going to account to anything.

_Drag…_

The only person who loves me is out with some girl.

_Drag…drag…drag…drag…drag…drag…drag…drag…_

I watch as the blood just oozes out of the fresh cuts. I want all of this to be over, why can’t my life be normal? I deserve a good life, don’t I?

After a few minutes of watching the blood, I clean up my cuts and I wrap them up. Now I’m just waiting to see when Harry comes here.

I get on the couch and my eyes flutter close and all I think about is all of the fun times I had with Harry before all of this became a reality.

.

.

.

“Lou, babe…wake up,” My eyes flutter open and I see a worried looking Harry. He goes to kiss my lips but I move my head and his lips land on my cheek, “What, what’s wrong?”

“Everything, you were supposed to be here five fucking hours ago, but instead you were out with that.”

“I’m sorry, I wanted to come but they threatened to ship me off to Germany for a year if I didn’t do as they said. I wanted to, I really did.”

“No, you don’t understand. I’ve been in love with you ever since I can remember and this is how you repay me. Out, GET THE FUCK OUT UNTIL YOU DROP THAT FUCKING MANAGEMENT! I CAN’T DEAL WITH ALL OF THE HEARTACHE! JUST NO! LEAVE!” I turn my head around; I can’t look at him right now. I don’t want to see him cry, I don’t want to see how I just broke his heart.

I hear the door click shut and I scream as the tears fall down my face.

I get up, I need to do this.

Tonight, I will not return home; ever.

Tonight I will go somewhere where I belong.

 

**_Harry POV_ **

My heart ripped in two as I heard what Louis said. I know he may be over reacting, but I could have done something or even lied. I could have done everything.

I looked at the time, and my contract literally ends in the next 15 minutes. I am going to drop them as soon as the clock strikes midnight. I start walking toward the building and I reach the door with five minutes left.

I get up the stairs and I knock on the door. The head manage opens the door, and looks at me surprised.

“Well, it looks like your contract is done. I’m dropping you, good bye,” I go to walk away and before I do something, I bring my fist and connect it with his nose, “That is for ruining my relationship with m boyfriend!” I walk out and a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I needed to do that.

I get outside and I see that people are running towards the bridge a few blocks away. I see a crowd and I run towards it. I look up and my eyes widened, and I push through them.

“Louis! Louis, please don’t!” He turns around and he looks to me and shakes his head.

“I need to Harry, I can do this anymore. The lies and the hate, I need it to be all over.”

“But, it is, my contract ended 5 minutes ago. I dropped them, we can be together!”

“No, because everything is already ruined and what if the next management doesn’t let us, then what is going to happen?” He turns back around and I start to sing a song. It was a song that I wrote for us and I needed to sing it.

_People say we shouldn't be together_

_We're too young to know about forever_

_But I say they don't know what they talk talk talkin' about_

_'Cause this love is only getting stronger_

_So I don't wanna wait any longer_

_I just wanna tell the world that you're mine boy_

_Oh!_

He turns around and he looks to me singing and he wipes the tears off of his face.

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you's"_

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They will just be jealous of us_

_They don't know about the up all night's_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about_

_They don't know about us_

_Just one touch and I was believer_

_Every kiss gets a little sweeter_

_It's getting better_

_Keeps getting better all the time boy_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you's"_

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They will just be jealous of us_

_They don't know about the up all night's_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about_

_They don't know about us_

_They don't know how special you are_

_They don't know what you've done to my heart_

_They can say anything they want_

_Cause they don't know about us_

_They don't know what we do best_

_That's between me and you our little secret_

_But I wanna tell'em_

_I wanna tell the world that you're mine boy_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you's"_

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They will just be jealous of us_

_They don't know about the up all night's_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about_

_They don't know about us_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you's"_

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They will just be jealous of us_

_They don't know about the up all night's_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about_

_They don't know about us_

_They don't know about us..._

I open my arms and he jumps down from the ledge. He jumps into my arms and continued to cry in my arms. The crowd and police disperse away.

I walk over to the bench and I still let him cry. His sleeves ride up and I notice the endless amount of scars. I take his arm and I graze my fingers over the bumps.

“Louis, will you please stop?” He nods, “I’ll stop too.”

“Wait, what?” He looks up and grabs my arms. He moves the sleeves and he sees the burn scars all over my arms. He kisses them and looks to me. We both look into each other’s eyes and he leans his head down and kisses my lips. We were so caught up in the kiss that we didn’t notice someone standing there until they coughed.

“Hello, my name is Zayn and this is Liam.”

“Harry and that’s Louis, what can we help you with?”

“Well, we own the record label, Malik and Payne, and we were wondering if you wanted a new management team?”

“On one condition,”

“Sure, what is it?” Liam speaks up.

“I can keep my boyfriend.”

“Will do, since were married to two lovely men. I married my high school sweetheart, Niall. And this one married his, Andy.”

“Aww that’s sweet, you have a deal.” I shook his hand and they walked off.

 

**_Author’s POV_ **

Years past and Harry was still under the Malik and Payne records and he couldn’t have been happier with the outcome. Harry stopped burning and Louis stopped cutting. Harry ended up finding out that the blogger who would always send him those heartfelt comments was none other than, Louis. He was beyond happy.

Harry and Louis have been together for 6 years now. And nothing is stopping them.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

Harry’s proposing to Louis, tonight.

And Louis’ of course will say yes.

 


End file.
